A Mormon Woman's Reflections on Life and the Gospel of Jesus Christ

Journalist Julia Duin did what Stendahl of Harvard Divinity School and the rest of us with the same mindset suggested: Go to the adherents and find out what they are like. Ask them, let them tell their story.

I respect Julia for visiting services of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormons) and for attending even a YSA (Young Single Adult Ward) in Chevy Chase to get a feel for the pulse and the social/professional mixing of our members.

In her article “Marriage as a Mormon Value,” she alludes to the fact that Mormons have a “positive marriage culture.” Here is an excerpt of her recent post about young single adults meeting and marrying:

… I dropped by the ward in Chevy Chase, a brick building on Western Avenue. Sharply dressed 20-something women and men in white shirts and ties chatted in the foyer underneath scenes from the Book of Mormon. A few couples clasped hands.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints’ percentage of married members (71 percent) is second only to Hindus (79 percent), according to the Pew Forum. Every other religious group ranges from 57 percent to 60 percent.

One reason for these Mormon twosomes is that their church actively fosters meet-ups. There are whole Young Single Adult (YSA) wards for the 18-to-30-year-old set, such as Colonial 1 in Alexandria, which is loaded with single law students, lawyers and Capitol Hill worker bees.

The YSA ward I visited has 225 members, not including interns. Despite an annual turnover of 45 percent, it averages 24 marriages a year, about 15 percent of the ward.

“That’s a pretty good number even though it sounds small,” its bishop, Brad Bryan, told me.

Small? It sounds fabulous to me. At my former church of 800 in Northern Virginia, we had less than a handful of marriages per year. Not only do the Latter-day Saints have a marriage-positive culture (some joke it was a bit too positive back in the 19th century), they do make it easy for the post-college crowd to meet at these wards.

“If you believe in the value of critical mass, you have more selection there,” said Bishop Bryan, who is married and the father of five. “Also, people there have a common set of values so you create opportunity for them to interact.”

Sundays include a three-hour block of services, followed by “linger longer” meetings where members can chat. On Mondays, singles have a “family home night” at the church. Tuesdays and Wednesdays offer Bible studies. Thursdays, members can tutor inner-city kids. Fridays and Saturdays include dances and cultural events.

On Memorial Day weekend, several hundred single Mormons will meet to play and pray on the beach at Duck, N.C., in the Outer Banks. LDS’ers come from all over the East Coast.

“What you are trying to do is provide opportunities for people to meet someone in the proper setting,” the bishop told me. “These people are all active members who’d like to get married.”

Having a real concept of the sociality that exists after this life, as redeemed friends and loved ones are reuinted with us, gives us as Mormons, an anchor and a purpose to forming those bonds that have eternal potential through covenant blessings and promises in the House of the Lord (Mormon Temples).  While the promises are conditional upon faithfulness to covenants, those who honor theirs will be sealed to a worthy spouse here or in the next life. To understand more, see mormon temples dot org or visit other temple reflections on this blog.

Hi all. I’ve decided to change course a bit, and to share more consistently personal reflections on various Mormon themes and other gahoozits that cross my mind in the course of a day. I’m going to parlay some of the other issues–cultural action alerts, etc.–onto another site.

I’d really love for anyone to come and ask questions about my life as a Mormon woman. Have I been exempt from challenges? No, hardly. The gospel is a resource in times of difficulty and when the fire gets really really hot, not an exemption from those trials. I’ve learned that we don’t need to bow out or duck down but that our testimonies can stand the heat, and I want the world to know that I know who I am, what I stand for, why I stand for it (and what I don’t stand for ).

I’d ask the press to talk with us, individuals, not as official spokespersons, but as real, genuine livers of the faith, to find out what you’d like to know about us. Peer into our lives. Avoid the temptation to share controversy for the sake of hoping you get better bylines or exposure. Find us. Ask us. I’d be happy to talk with you about my life, the temple, my conversion, my faith–as an ordinary member of the Church. Having lived it for 30 years, I have at least one valid perspective.

Thanks for coming. Let me know your thoughts.

Karen